


Checkmate, Stalemate... Mate, can we not play chess?

by This_Is_Alias (orphan_account)



Series: Sniper vs Spy [1]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Chess, I'm Sorry, Insomnia's Not Helping, M/M, Medic becomes a chess coach, Request for help inside, Spy Vs Sniper Series, that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:17:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3427562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/This_Is_Alias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sniper and Spy play a chess game. Sniper - to win Scout over and Spy - because he's Spy and he won't lose to a filthy jarman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Checkmate, Stalemate... Mate, can we not play chess?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I probably sound like a whiny needy kid again but can anyone help me? Or, like, message me on Tumblr at Kaizelle-kyliegurl13 what I should do if you have had a similar situation?
> 
> If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's all in my profile. I need help, I'm sorry.
> 
> I can't take it anymore. It's harsh, it's a torrent of insults, hate, burns and I just want to curl into a ball and die. And they'd probably laugh and mock my dead body.
> 
> I hate them. I never did anything to them so why should I be targetted? But I guess... I don't want anyone else to actually experience what I'm put through so I'll last this so they don't find a new victim.
> 
> But still, I...
> 
> I feel like, nowadays, I want to get my hands on poison. Or something that burns. And just swallow it all to kill myself and make it hurt. Make it sting.
> 
> It's crazy, I should never do such a thing but I've been driven so far back that I don't know what else to do!
> 
> And if they ever find this account (which I know they will eventually), I will be laughed at, forever jeered at for writing "sappy romance" stories... on homosexuality! (There's nothing wrong with gays, it's just that THEY are narrow-minded and think gays are weird... use 'gay' as an insult... and yeah). And I won't be able to live once that happens.
> 
> I wish I can just pack up and leave- move to America, Australia... somewhere! Anywhere but this place. But I can't 'cause that'd be selfish to my brothers and also my parents don't understand.
> 
> When I talked to my dad about my insomnia, he just said 'Bad thoughts in the day lead to bad dreams at night'. Which isn't helping! and when I talk to either parents about my school problems, they ignore me and tell me I'm just overeacting and it's just some teenage phase.
> 
> Is it some "teenage phase" when you want to kill yourself? Am I "overeacting" if they constantly spread shit about me? Is it okay that I'm still alive? WHAT?
> 
> I...
> 
> I'm sorry, have fun with the story.
> 
> Hey, I used to play chess and I suppose I was pretty good at it considering the number of awards I have. But that was three years ago and I'm rusty... like, I found my old chess board and played against my analytical and extremely smart father and won. I was SO happy and was like- dang, I should pick this up again.
> 
> It's a good distraction and I like a game of thinking sometimes. It tires me out enough to sleep better.

"Why do I need to play a chess game with that prissy Spy?"

 

"Oh c'mon, Snipes, think about it! If you beat Dad in chess, he'll probably reconsider our relationship."

 

"Bloody hell, you really know how to hit the mark."

 

"I thought you were the marksman?"

 

"Frick off, yeh bloody wanka."

 

\--

 

Medic had been extremely delighted and surprised when Sniper had approached him on some tutoring on chess. The German always enjoyed a good game of strategic thinking.

 

But maybe currently, he wasn't as delighted as before.

 

"Nien! Nien! Oh Mien Gott! Herr Sniper, this is hopeless! You are even worse than Ze Heavy!" Medic threw his gloved hands up in exasperation as Sniper decided to allow his pawn to hop-hop-hop randomly over a few pieces of his own.

 

"Wot? I thought you said it could hop?"

 

"Nien! That was the  _knight,_ Dummkopf! The pawns move forward only!"

 

"Oh," Sniper took a sip from his mug before studying the board again with narrowed eyes.

 

It was almost five minutes when the marksman looked up and asked, "Wait, which one is the king again?"

 

Medic almost screamed in frustration.

 

\--

 

Well, there was one thing to say. There was  _no way_ Sniper would be beating Spy in a game of chess. It was unheard of. If he could barely understand how the game worked - let alone even remember the names of the pieces - why should he come out as champion over cynical, analytical Spy?

 

And now Sniper had to face his biggest problem yet with his failure to learn chess.

 

Scout.

 

"Snipes... why?" Scout gave the puppy-dog eyes that Sniper had fallen for, lower lip stuck out into a pout as he let out a whine.

 

Gods, sometimes Sniper just wanted to slap that face to make him stop manipulating Sniper like that. But he couldn't even dream of hurting Scout. Because Scout was too cute and... adorable... and...

 

Where was he?

 

Oh yeah.

 

Spy.

 

Chess.

 

Oops.

 

"Bloody hell," he muttered, "I'm sorry, mate, but chess just ain't the right game for me."

 

"Then what is a right game?"

 

"Excellent question, now can you roll over, I hardly have any space!"

 

Scout inched away, ending up tipping precariously off the small pull-out bed Sniper had in his camper van. The Sniper contempalated whether he should push the Boston Bunny off the bed just out of spite.

 

"Okay, I moved. Please, Sniper, just one game against Dad?"

 

Sniper would blame his decision on his exhaustion and the fact that he was already falling asleep but no matter how many excuses could be made, Sniper would find that he still agreed to Scout's proposal for a game of chess against the Spy.

 

\--

 

The red masked man stared at Sniper with one eyebrow arched.

 

"So, are you going to move or not? There's always the option to resign."

 

"Oi'm not resigning. On a sniper's honour!"

 

"As you wish."

 

Two moves into the game and Sniper was stuck. They had started off with the London System (e4, e5) and then... the marksman had no idea how to follow up with the game. He racked his brains to try and remember - make his memory cough up something - what Medic had said and explained on the day he approached the doctor but his rusty, weary mind was being mean that day.

 

He decided to take the gamble and jumped the Queen piece to capture Spy's king.

 

"BUSHMAN! ZHAT MOVE IS NOT LEGAL!"

 

Sniper frowned, eyebrows dipping downwards as he watched the angry Spy replace the pieces, muttering and swearing in French under his breath.

 

"Okay," Sniper said before squinting back at the board. What was there to move? How did the pieces move?

 

Hey, if there were kings and queens and bishops and knights... surely there ought to be a sniper?

 

He assumed that the tower-like piece resting at each end of the board were the 'sniper' pieces as... well, they were towers. And maybe they meant a sniper tower?

 

"Um, my snipers headshot your bloody King."

 

Sniper took the rook and slammed it on the Spy's king, effeciently creating a crack that ran down the piece.

 

"BUSHMAN!" Spy cried, "DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY CHESS?"

 

"No," Sniper sighed as he pushed the pieces off the board in exasperation, the pieces clattering as they fell on the wooden floor, "But your son wanted me to play a game against you so you'd approve of our relationship."

 

"Since you totally failed in playing chezz- my answer is  _no._ "

 

"Oh wells, I guess I'll have to keep playing against you until I win, then."

 

The Spy froze.

 

"NON, NON, NEVER MIND. YOU CAN DATE HIM."

 

\--

 

"How did you do it?" The BLU Scout laughed as he flung himself into the RED Sniper's arms, giggling away, almost dizzy with happiness, "How did you get Dad to agree? You actually beat him in chess?"

 

"You might say that," Sniper crowed as he cuddled into his dear BLU boyfriend.

 


End file.
